Tuesday, October 03, 2006

This too shall pass (?)

Once again the oh-so-familiar and I-can't-stand-it-any-longer 'reject letter'. I had so badly wanted this job to work out. I always thought that if you want something really badly you get it.. it doesn't seem to work any more. I really feel my luck has totally run out . . it's a dry well and I can hear the echo of the bouncing coin with which I make my wish.

I know it makes me sound like such a whiner, but I am feeling so so lost. I have a friend and my aunt visiting. Thankfully my aunt was out for a play when I got the call. . because I howled and howled and howled. Poor friend was so lost. Thankfully he's a close friend from college so I don't feel ashamed with all the water works. Poor Bee left work as early as he could and rushed home. All I did was sit in a corner (literally) and look miserable while they tried to cheer me up. Its just that I feel the strength to go on ebbing very fast. I just can't take this any more. .especially the expectations of others and the shame I feel of being unemployed. I no longer feel like meeting people . . the first question is always.. 'How's the job search going?' .. how do you think, given that am not giving you happy news of some fantastic offer I've got.

After the most horrible beginning to the week, once again I pick up the threads and continue. Not sure how many more times I can do this. I know people have bigger problems in life and I am lucky to have some very important basics in place like a loving family and all ... but its tough to focus on the positives. Right now, am just clinging onto the hope ..that this too can't last forever.


Anonymous said...

BIIIIIIIIIIg HUG Pea. It is tough but it will pass. Don't lose hope girl...

Nee said...

Oh Pea! Really sorry that it didn't work out. I can so sympathize/empathize with the irritation at the world asking for status updates. Don't know why people don't get that these are sensitive issues and it's best not to ask!

But yes, this too shall pass! The rejection just means that you are meant for bigger and better things.

Don't feel bad about venting - it's best to get the disappointment out of your system, and attack with renewed vigor. Things will start clicking soon!

Good luck!

John said...

Aaawww.. it's ok. Try try try.... some door will eventually open up. It has to.

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Beks said...

Aww...Pea, Totally understand hating the 101 people asking ..."so how is it going?" I'm sure there's something better around the corner waiting for you.

Pea said...

[Sunrayz] Its tough .. getting more and more tough :(

[Nee] Venting dissapointed is becoming my theme!

[John] Thats the keyword .. try, try.

[Aditya] Don't watch much television. But will check it out sometime

[Beks] So am getting into a bad habit of avoiding the source of the peoblem .. meeting people. Bad identification of source - should be getting a job.

Isis said...

Dear Pea,

Totally relate to all these people asking those questions. Have you tried free-lancing? I lost my job 2,5 years ago, had to go thru the process of being angry and all that. and than decided that some of the work i do can be done as a freelancer. The way of presenting yourself is different, and your cv is set up differently as well. But for over 2 years i freelanced, and all these time applied for jobs. and three weeks ago i landed a new job. but meanwhile i had a good profesional life as well, and achieved quite a lot.

good luck, it is OK to scream and hide in a corner. just try to stay not too long in the corner because life is too great to be miserable. hang in there and keep confidence in yourself.

PS I stumbled on your site as you had left a comment on Meeta's site.

Pea said...

[Isis] Totally agree that "life is too great to be miserable" ..especially since have now stopped wanting to meet friends and go through the same explanations routine. Hoping things get sorted out soon and will be back to my usual life with a gusto.. just hope its not too long that I forget that 'usual life' was like.