I spent the day with a school friend who has a two year old child and I am pleasantly surprised. My previous experience of meeting friends with kids has not been too great. They'd often be super child involved .. who would also be the sole topic of conversation (often because of their cute antics .. but still .. there is that much of the child's dancing and clapping that I am interested in). I then generalized to imagine all parents to be the same and had given up on hope for much 'non kiddie' conversation when I met a parent.
I stand corrected. The friends who had come over on Sunday did not make the kid sing and dance for our entertainment (or boredom). The child found his joy in stationery and he was left to play with it and their involvement was more in terms of keeping an eye out for him not walking into a shelf full of glasses. Today, I was even more impressed. I went out with a friend and her two year old daughter. We visited an exhibition .. where the ultra silent halls were sometimes broken by the childish excitement of the girl pointing out an elephant .. but that apart she was fairly quiet. Her mother patiently kept her involved by pointing out some paintings and when she got bored she just played with her doll. Except for when she was being fed (when she was a total brat and her mother was the picture of patience) I was most impressed with both kid and mommy. We chatted for a long time over coffee about life and such.. the girl played with her stroller, doll and all else that could be played with. She'd touch the floor and then stuff her hand into her mouth, sniffle a bit because of the cold ..at one point I looked worried and her mother just said that there's nothing to worry ..she's just being a normal two year old. Which is so true, except the last time I was around a 2 year old ..her mom wanted to put her into some sterile bubble and shield her from the world of germs ..which made me wonder at what her immune system would be like after she grew up!
For both friends, I can see how much their lives have changed with the child (for one, they have to worry about school catchment areas and not just areas with good pubs!) .. but its not like they have moved into a different world. Not that we've even come to a decision about whether we want to have kids. But its good to see that perhaps if we do .. we might just be able to continue with our lives.
I stand corrected. The friends who had come over on Sunday did not make the kid sing and dance for our entertainment (or boredom). The child found his joy in stationery and he was left to play with it and their involvement was more in terms of keeping an eye out for him not walking into a shelf full of glasses. Today, I was even more impressed. I went out with a friend and her two year old daughter. We visited an exhibition .. where the ultra silent halls were sometimes broken by the childish excitement of the girl pointing out an elephant .. but that apart she was fairly quiet. Her mother patiently kept her involved by pointing out some paintings and when she got bored she just played with her doll. Except for when she was being fed (when she was a total brat and her mother was the picture of patience) I was most impressed with both kid and mommy. We chatted for a long time over coffee about life and such.. the girl played with her stroller, doll and all else that could be played with. She'd touch the floor and then stuff her hand into her mouth, sniffle a bit because of the cold ..at one point I looked worried and her mother just said that there's nothing to worry ..she's just being a normal two year old. Which is so true, except the last time I was around a 2 year old ..her mom wanted to put her into some sterile bubble and shield her from the world of germs ..which made me wonder at what her immune system would be like after she grew up!
For both friends, I can see how much their lives have changed with the child (for one, they have to worry about school catchment areas and not just areas with good pubs!) .. but its not like they have moved into a different world. Not that we've even come to a decision about whether we want to have kids. But its good to see that perhaps if we do .. we might just be able to continue with our lives.
5 comments:
Hey thank you Pea for sharing. This is what motherhood is all about :D
I love those relaxed parents - it makes the whole thing seem so do able.
NORMAL Parents! Hard to find these days. :P
handling each kid needs different methods....something my mom told me...you just cannot take another mother's advice when it comes to your kid's psyche...coz theyre all different and respond in different ways....all you can do is experience it and learn from each day.suggestions help but...not a whole lot.
[Shionge] Well ..this was nice ..because most seem very obsessive compulsive about it.
[Beks] So totally agree with you.
[suki] Why... why... ??
[Grafxgurl] Agree that each kid is different.. that's why they say 'mommy knows best'. But, parents don't seem normal about it ..and obsess way too much about the kid and what its doing. And some are so competitive!
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